GET SOME!

A tribute to my close friend, we'll call him "Rambo", who has just made the ultimate sacrifice. (No, no Mel Gibson. Nothing to do with Jews. Chill your shit.) He's signed up to kick some ass in Obama's Army.

Rambo has a noble philosophy that goes something like, "If you want the benefits of American Citizenship, you have to earn it." But don't let that form the foundation of your picture of Rambo. That's too...clean.

We used to go to every college soccer game just to yell at opposing teams and, when necessary, berate their mothers, too. (Only when they started saying mean things to us for calling out their dirty-playin kids.)

Rambo and I used to set off car alarms in college with his subwoofers in his Jeep. We had a great time sophomore (...or junior?) year drinking from 3 in the afternoon Friday til Saturday sometime around nightfall. We did stuff to freshmen I can't even write about here!

I once took great pride in doing a beer bong through a PVC American flag pole on Memorial Day along with Rambo. (I think there's some video of this somewhere, I remember fireworks going off right behind us as we chugged. His mom poured the beer, cackling the whole time!)
The kid is epic.

I see him pretty much as the driver in HBO's Generation Kill.
If you're one of those forest-fornicatin' , Bambi-blowin' hippies who doesn't watch war movies (or you're broke and just don't have HBO) then let me capture the essence of the driver, Cpl. Ray, in one of his quotes:

"This whole thing comes down to pussy. You take the Republican Guard and comp their asses for a week in Vegas. No fuckin war."

I'll actually credit our Rambo with being funnier than Cpl. Ray. But it's close. He's two parts Tucker Max, one part Cpl. Ray, and one part John Adams, believe it or not.

If Rambo can fight anything like he can drink, he's gonna kill a lot of Skinnies/pirates/terrorists!

Godspeed, sir, and above all else, GET SOME!

(I know you have no access to the outside world when you're in basic training. Sounds pretty damn shitty. But this'll be here when you get out.)

-J