Fantastic

mos def
-J

The Funeral

-J

Hahaha

Pickup Lines Of 10 Historical Figures on CollegeHumor


-J

Drunken Math

-J

'Baller Beards

So I've decided to have a collection of Footballers' Beards posted. I would say Baller Beard of the Day but it'll probably be more like of the Week. Whatever.

To start off, we have the hardman Lisandro Lopez of Olympic Lyonnais (not to be confused with the egg white and oil spread), who just got back from filming his role of Jaffar in Aladdin.



LL has actually been described as "better than [Wayne] Rooney", at the height of a mushroom trip by a very biased fool.

He surprisingly didn't score against Liverpool (which is a mug's game these days) but in fact used his badguy beard to pierce a beach ball in front of their goal, which everyone knows actually stops goals being scored against Pepe Reina.

Because "Ernest Hemingway is a guy that was so manly you grow a beard just reading his name."

-J

Cos of Guns Grub and Gingers

Thanks to my old chum Ronny, over at RonnysBar, I'm re-posting an entry I made about shitty drivers. Back to the heady days of long prose and few YouTube links for my blog? Why yes, I think that's what I'll do...
Anyway, here it is, my entry in its blog-infancy:

I RUN THE GAUNTLET
every day that I drive to work. I pull out my caffeine IV, put on my helmet, goggles and gloves, check my propeller, flaps and my rudders, and then I make my way down the Red Baron- fucking- dogfight- alley that some people call Abercorn Street.

Key ominous music.

By the way, I staunchly support a neo-WWI labeling of cars: instead of confirmed kills, you put a stamp on the side for every dumbass wreck you've been in. This would mean that some....many cars would resemble a Luis Vuitton bag, but with marks of dumbassedness, instead of those apparently rare, costly LVs. As of today, it looks like they're using dents and scratches.

In about two months at my new job, I have seen five wrecks. These, of course, are only around 8am (after I sacrifice my firstborn to God in order that He may let me make it to work alive) and 5.3opm (after a day at a law firm, in which case I'm resigned to a very gory, albeit deserved MVA death).
That's not your classic Motor Vehicle Accident, it's what I refer to as a "Motherfuckin' Vehicle Attack", and they are everywhere.

Anyone who has had the unique pleasure of accompanying me on a drive knows that I reserve my purest, unadulterated hatred for my fellow motorists. While I know this will never change, I've now accrued a supplement: genuine paranoia.

Today I signed up a client. Let's call said client Mr. X.

Mr. X had a car land ON his car. ON

Where you would think it would have been a head-on collision, the high rate of acceleration, coupled with the Lord's strategically placed concrete median (cos we all need a laugh, or in His case: Laugh) ensured that the car went airborne.

Now I have a new worry. Along with the Pembroke, two-tone hair hoes putting on their makeup at 60 mph; the SCAD 18-year-olds with their '80s sunglasses falling down their noses as their neon Scion changes lanes; and (for lack of a better term) ghetto drivers who speed like they're in a high speed chase out of habit, I now have to worry about the dreaded combo of cars and gravity.

Newton had no fucking idea.

to quote an attorney, "WATCH OUT FOR FLYING CARS!"

-J

Really!?

How can DOORS be more plentiful than stretchers at a Spanish division 3 stadium? Anyone?



-J

Dirty TacPUNCHINTHEFACE!

If you squint your eyes and turn...no, you can just watch normally and see this guy get punched in the face. Takes it like a man though. I woulda teared up. Of course, I'd cry blood...

-J

The Brilliance of Editing

Nice one! From talkSport

-J

big mac. cheeseburger.

-J

Wilson

hahaha Chris Toy @ Studs Up puts it perfectly, as usual, with his new comic.

-J

Stanky goal, Dirty Harry, Out of Bounds and a Beachball

After a weekend of notable footballing events, and me being bitter about not buying beer/wine before the Bible Belt onset of Sunday, I'll just outsource all of today's update to YouTube.

Stankovic's disgusting volley from HALF FIELD, after a clanger from the 'keeper...still, couldn't expect a goal like that! Best part? Celebrating with the glassed-in fans.



And the most gangster geriatric there is did the ceremonial kickoff for OL. See the terrified ball try to get out of the way as he kicks it- high into the air, not your average along the ground kick...


And here's Anelka spectacularly taking out Villa boss Martin O'Neill, to which he replied "Ow! Bastard! For dat, moy team will beet ya!" And they did, 2-1.


And of course, the Scousers were undone for the FOURTH time this season...by a beachball. Thrown by the own fan. And shite defending. Thrown by their own manager.
watch it @http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/2688593/Spot-the-beachball.html?OTC-RSS&ATTR=Football

-J