Muti>Ronaldo

So, apparently some bad juju, sorcery, witchcraft, muti, JK Rowling devil-fornication has struck down arguably the greatest footballer there is.

The perma-tanned Portugese, Cristiano Ronaldo, was apparently "cursed" by a witch doctor (who probably got his Doctorate online, like Dr. Phil) and all the signs point to Paris Hilton being the commisioner.

Written better (and with effort I can't conjure up past Wednesday) the update is at the Spoiler.

-J