Death Panel!?

Credit to my father for finding this....and to think, he SURVIVED growing up with the NHS!!! (Cue ominous Fox file music)

Ooo Are Ya!? Ooo Are Ya!?

Hilarious- from Football365.com

Old Hooligan: A Day in The Life...

Posted 27/08/09 13:26

Work. Same old, same old. A warrior like me should not be caged. And definitely not as a Waste Management Support Co-ordinator in Lewisham Council. Phone rings. Pick it up.

"Ooo are ya? Ooo are ya? Ooo are ya?" I shout.

"Barry," says the voice. "It's Mr Stevens. Now what did we say about answering the phone in accordance with the guidelines laid down by HR in consultation with designated union representatives?"

"Sorry, Mr Stevens," I say.

"That's better Barry. Now can you please arrange for a member of the cleaning personnel team to go down to the lobby and change the waste paper basket on front desk?"

"Millwall! Millwall! Millwall!" I shout.

"No Barry. Waste paper management now. Millwall later," says Stevens. "Honestly Barry. A man of 48 really ought to be able to control himself."

"Yes Mr Stevens," I say. He's bricking it now, the mug. I hang up and email the cleaning personnel team, and then practice aggressive walking in my cubicle until lunch.

Lunchtime. Free. Outside. The Lion prowls. Trouble though. There's a gang of muppets on the corner. West Ham? They're only young 'uns, but they're probably tooled up, the scum. Two of them. I'm outnumbered. But these colours don't run.

"Come on then! Come on then!" I shout, flapping my arms up and down in a well aggressive way while walking away from them backwards.

The bigger one drops his ice cream. He starts to cry. Soon the other one is crying too.

"You slaaaaaaaaags," I shout. "Ooo are ya? Gertcha! Queen Mum! Ave a banana. Oi oi saveloy."

But hold up. It was a trap. There's another one. The top dog. Waiting in Boots. Clever.

"What the hell are you shouting at my kids for?" she says. "What is wrong with you? Scaring a five year-old in the street like that."

"I'm on your manor and I'm taking the piss," I say.

She's coming at me now. Hard. This is more than just a bit of handbags. She's tooled up: with an actual handbag. This is Luton 1985. This is Highbury 1988. This is Toys R Us 1995 when that Palace Young Team pushed me off the bouncy castle.

"Come on then! Do you want some?" I say, running in the other direction.

Course, I'm more built for raw power than speed, and after a few yards I'm wheezing, doubled up outside Dixons, lungs on fire.

They catch up to me, the three of them. The top dog's got that handbag. The small one looks mental, a proper psycho, covered in strawberry ice-cream like it's warpaint. The littlest one's got a Dora The Explorer lunchbox. The clever, clever slags.

"Why is that fat old man dressed like a young person, mummy?" says ice cream.

Is this how it ends? On the cold pavement outside Dixons? I'm going out with my head held high. They'll talk about me in the Dog And Fascist for years to come. I'm a legend. I'm a bloody Lions legend. I wait for the blows.

I feel a hot, wet sensation spreading over me. The blood, the glory, the end. I'm going to the great New Den in the sky a hero, a fighter, a geezer who never took a backward step. I hear a voice - is it God? Asking me to join His Firm, be a top boy?

"Mummy mummy, that silly fat man has done a wee in his trousers."

And then it all goes black.

Alan Tyers

Ouch!!!!

OK, so mine wasn't nearly as bad as this, but I did manage to fracture my distal tibia, as well as tear my ankle ligament (for the second time). I now have physical therapy to look forward to, and this damn heathcare reform is now disgustingly poignant...

Coming soon: The Misadventures of Hopalong Jon and the Bottles of Hydrocodone!
Episode One- "Do You Realize How Hard it is to Piss Standing on One Leg??"

-J

Fratellis

Definitely was in a Souf London pub with some folks listening to this band....when their other song "Chelsea Dagger" came it, it reached that point where people were slinging beer on EVERYone! Good times....

-J

Bittersweet Irony

One of my favorite football blogs...

Yes, the Lord has dry, ironic humor, just like the Brits. Great.

-J

Hammond

Perfect remedy for the Hooligan blues....the song "In Transit" by Albert Hammond, Jr.

I like his stuff...can't put my finger on it, but it reminds me of something....
(all from the drummer of the Strokes)



-J

Green Street Hooligans

Videos from Tuesday's Carling Cup West Ham v. Millwall match. The worst fighting since the 70's and 80's.





Madness.
This is NOT like 95% of football matches over there. The ones I went to were either peaceful, decent afternoon games, or at night, there would be intimidating and chanting, but never acting on it, just a few drunken punches.

-J

Universal

duh.

-J

Prediction Week 4

So...I managed to miss predicting United's match against Wigan Athletic, but I DID manage to play my Monday night pick-up game....and tear a ligament in my ankle as well as chip some bone off, too. So gimme some slack.

Anyway, gameweek 4, when United take on Arsenal. One of the most high class, and often highly volatile, rivalries in the Premier League. Arsenal hasn't been doing nearly as well as United in the last three seasons, but they have started this season better than their northern rivals. A massive 6-1 victory against Everton in their first match really showed everyone what they can do.

No matter how each team has been doing, when they clash, they really step their game up. That being said, I have to go for a draw. If I had to guess, I'd say 2-2, since both teams' strengths right now are in attack. Our defence has so many injuries, they really haven't had a decent run to get used to shutting teams out. While we kept a clean sheet against Wigan, it's more because we were too busy scoring on them...though I will give 'keeper Ben Foster huge credit for some top saves in that match.

One thing to our advantage is that Arsenal had to play Celtic yesterday... so they may have just enough fatigue for us to sneak a win. Still going for a draw though.

UNITED!

-J

Green Street Hooligans

Last night was an infamous Millwall v. West Ham united league Cup match, the first time they've played against each other since 2005. Sadly, it was one of the most vicious clashes between supporters the world's seen for some time.


Watch live video from VIP Sports on Justin.tv

Pretty wild riot police scenes...
Details

-J

NHS

So, I loved this article by American Stephen Amidon, "Why I lve Britain's socialized healthcare system", at Salon.com.

I'm really getting sick of hearing people's unfounded, scare-mongered fears of socialized medicine. To be frankly honest, I think people who are against this are fools, easily manipulated by all those who stand to lose big $$$ if healthcare is reformed. As Representative Barney Frank says, "You don't waste your time on people with whom you completely disagree."

Here is the most interesting part, in reference to the "proposed" government "death panels" for the old:

"I saw it most clearly, however, in the treatment my in-laws received at the end of their lives. My wife’s father, who suffered from acute myloid dysplasia, spent his last year receiving constant care, including several sprints to the hospital for emergency transfusions, where doctors struggled heroically to keep him alive. His final week was spent in a very comfortable single hospice room whose French doors opened onto a terrace overlooking his beloved Yorkshire moors. When he died, he left us his house, and not a penny of healthcare debt. My mother-in-law, stricken by arthritis, got two artificial hips and two knees from the NHS, and received daily home visits from social workers during the last three years of her life so she would not have to go into a nursing home. Neither of these septuagenarians was working at the time. The amount of money spent on their care must have been staggering. And yet, despite shouldering this yoke of decency, the nation prospered around them. People were buying French wine and German cars and second homes. They were attending Cats and supporting Arsenal and going on holidays in the sun. Sure, people complained about the NHS. But the British complain about everything. Living without a public health system, on the other hand, was unthinkable."

Yeah, sounds TERRIBLE.....

-J

Football Equivalent of a Slam Dunk...

-J