David Byrne AND Brian Eno????!!!

-J

Two 1/2 Brit-1/2 Americans

Also, coming early 2010, this blog will be no more. WHAT!? say you handful of American friends who read, even smaller group of Brits, and (I know cos of Google Analytics blog monitoring) the random Frenchmen who stumble across this.

I'm going to start another one with a friend of mine who studied in London with me. Like me, he's 1/2 English and 1/2 American. It's fate. And it will be hilarious and badass. It will have plenty of humor, sports, and I'm sure some movies and music. Who knows? Whatever falls into the hilarious and badass categories....

-J

BOPE

One of the most EPIC movies I've seen to date: Tropa De Elite (Elite Squad) about crime and corruption in Rio's many favela or slums outside the city. Like all trailers, this one doesn't do the film real justice. If you have Netflix, and you're a guy/ like action movies and aren't afraid of violence, put this at the top of your queue. Based on real events in Rio's elite BOPE squad. Amazing. Thrilling. Straight gangsta.


-J

Owen's Hat Trick

Michael Owen scored his first hat trick in a United shirt yesterday! It was a great win for us, considering that we ha FIFTEEN players out injured. (That's a whole team and subs!)

Here's the poacher at his best- a header to the far post, a simple finish and a sublime half field run and chip over the keeper.

Watch VfL Wolfsburg vs Manchester United All Goals & Highlights (8.12.2009) in Sports  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

-J

NOOOIIIIIIICCCCEEEE!!!!

More D Macazzy:


at the end: slow mo "nooooiiiiiiicccceeee"

and Danny and the boys in Newcastle- CUTTIN THAT SHIT UUP!!!!


-J

West Ham v MUFC december 5, 2009

West Ham held on for a while, with United fielding a very weak back line with 7 defenders out injured, but eventually class won against graft. A beautifully comprehensive display by United.

View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

-J

Ouch

What hurt most, I ask you? The back of the defender's head....or the 'keeper's PRIDE!? Umm, I'll give you but one guess.

THe following is perhaps the most lamentable own goal. Ever. In the history of oh here it is :


-J

BMX + PARKOUR

My dad showed me this video of who has got to be the most talented biker in England. Or anywhere, come to think of it.
Amazing- Danny MacAskill, whose video get 2.5 million hits a week!


-J

WORLD CUP DRAW!!!!

YEAHHHH IT'S HERE! The World Cup 2010 draw is here today!!! If you don't know what that is
1) Shame on you!
2) Slap yourself!
3)Reddened by shame and your dominant hand hitting your face, get online and do some research/ditch your inferior sports leanings and get on some damn world football!

Apparently, England manager Fabio Capello ain't scared o no ghost! Or, "Group of Death". Good for him, cos we can really win this thing, so some tricky opponents to start out with really isn't much, it just means we have less time to start firing on all cylinders. No prob, with ole Fab at the helm!

Also: here's the new "roundest ball ever" that will be used in the matches


Also, the possibilities of drawing a Group of Death are 1 in 530. "So you're sayin there's a CHANCE!"

Other WCfacts: "According to market data, we estimate that England's participation [in the World Cup] will add an extra £15bn to take-home sales of lager."
and "British pubs can expect to sell an extra 10 million pints on the days that England play."

ALSO, FIFA President Sepp Blatter is an ass (I know you know...) because I just saw him here making a joke when he was told he could lift the new Jabulani ball. He said "I cannot handle the ball! It is not allowed to handle the ball! Ahahahah!" (See: Henry handball debacle)
Yeah, all great comedians have good timing....I think if Sepp laughs again, ever, that the IRA will assassinate him....

Hopefully the US and England will have good groups drawn!!!
COME ON ENGLAND!!!!!!

-J

88

From ESQUIRE.COM


WBGO, Jazz 88: The Best Jazz Station on Planet Earth
November 23, 2009 at 4:20PM by Tim Heffernan

It's a gray day in New York, and seasonal stereotypes are blowing in with the bad weather. At Rockefeller Center, the Christmas tree is up (read to the end: now that's a tree that's fulfilled its Gothamite destiny). Preparations are underway for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. (The night before, you can watch the balloons being inflated on Central Park West, or you can go for immediate satisfaction and observe the NYPD stack barricades along the parade route over the coming days.) And, as happens whenever the geese fly south, the dollar is tanking against the euro, filling our registers with much-needed cash and our sidewalks with slow-moving window gazers.

Yeah, the stereotype of the disgruntled New Yorker has arrived as well. What's it to ya, pal? But there is one stereotype I can get behind, and have been a lot lately: the tradition of setting this great city against a background of jazz. We are lucky here to be close to Newark, which is (among other things) the home of WBGO, the best jazz station in the galaxy. All day, every day for thirty years, the station has broadcast the famous, the obscure, the established and the up-and-coming in jazz and blues — the original American musical art forms. They do it out of love (WBGO is public radio) and they do it without any of the pretension that makes jazz snobs so damn annoying to the rest of us.

It doesn't have to be gray outside to listen to WBGO. You don't even have to be in the area — every show is Webcast live. But the mood in New York adds a certain something. Tourist hordes, holiday excesses, rush-hour subways delayed by rain: it's all made a little more tolerable, even kind of romantic, by a good horn solo and a solid downbeat. (About the image: Fifty-seven jazz greats lined up for Art Kane's legendary 1958 photograph for Esquire.)


Read more: http://www.esquire.com/blogs/endorsement/radio-jazz-112309?click=main_sr#ixzz0YSDh6F4X

His Blood Smells Like Cologne

If you've never read Ernest "I'm Hard" Hemingway, who was THE MAN, then you won't really get this...



-J

5tep

-J

The Week That Was and the One to Follow

So if my last week was a movie, the best scene (by far) would have been driving a retired lawyer around in his Mercedes, windows down, elbows out, with him drinking a martini and smoking, and absolutely BLASTING "Night Fever" by the BeeGees. Can't be topped.

As of this week, I have gloriously reached the point where I can yet again KICK A SOCCER BALL! Good Christ, it's been since August when I epically tore my ligament and fractured my ankle. If my pre-wreck form is anything to go by, I can expect some damn good performances come the end of July. Amateur Savannah soccer players- you have been warned. (Seriously, if I wasn't good I would have quit sometime in the last 17 years I've been playing...)

Thanksgiving was fantastic, great food, family time and of course hitting the high street shops with my lady. She will be gone tomorrow for 3 weeks- cue much-needed Man Time, complete with old-fashions (the drink), Modern Warfare 2 on Xbox live (best. game. ever.) and crass conversations. Excellent.

Also, this week marks the beginning of Getting Back on Track, not the most enjoyable processes, but much-needed all the same. After having pneumonia for two weeks and having a big Thanksgiving break, my ass has to go to the gym and also start my evening runs around Ardsley.

Oh, and would somebody please beat Chelsea, they're starting to piss me off. Arsenal failed pathetically, so someone else pleas step up. Cheers.

oh yeah, you know I'd have some football in here....
here's an awesome goal celebration by Jimmy KicksLikeAHorse Bullard ->


-J

Old Law

So, I was toiling away the other day, determined to shed light on an incredibly poignant and important (yet somehow undiscovered) case law, when I get a ring on the old dog and bone. I answer it, and our secretary tells me that I have a "new call".

Steeling myself for another "I et a burger wit a worm in it, an I wanna soo MCDONALD'S!" call, or better yet a "I had a most terribly risky and complicated surgery, but still don't piss liquid gold- let's you and I sue the bastard who held the knife!" call, I field the call.

Good morning, this is ---- Wilson.
"Ah, yes, my name is (and for anonymity, we'll call him) Morgan Robinson!"
Mr. Robinson, what can I do for you, sir?
"What's your name again? Wilson? Ah you have a good name! We must be kin!"
Oh, possibly, sir, quite possibly.
"Yes, we Robinsons are around a good bit and I'm sure we're somehow related! You know, my family is directly descended from Francis Drake, well he never had children but his brother Edward married and had some."
Oh, yes sir, I'm quite familiar with Sir Francis; my father's from England so I grew up hearing about all their heroes. He was famous for sailing around the world...
"Yes, hahaha! He was having it off with Queen Elizabeth! Sailing around the world..haha! Well, you see I've been practicing law for 31 years in North Carolina!"

And then he proceeded to tell me his legal quandary, for which I recommended a lawyer who practiced in that area of the law.

"Well, how long have you practiced law Mr. Wilson?"
Oh, I'm not a lawyer, I'm a legal assistant. I'm taking the LSAT next year.
"Excellent! Look up any of the Francis/Drake/Robinsons in Charleston and you'll see we're everywhere! All my friends, they grew up all around 5th street there, you see. SOB's! Haha!"
Haha, marvelous, sir. I make it a point to go to Charleston every year, I love the place. I'm going to apply to their school of law as well.
"Well I could definitely help you there! Well, you don't know me from a hat stand, but my first cousin is[let's just call him, for the sake of anonymity] SamuelCartwright, the representative of North Carolina! You'll find I have quite an influence in Charleston. Oh, you know, I got in the top 1% when I took the LSAT. "
Oh, wow. Well, how long are you in Savannah for sir?
"Well, I have 5 houses in Charleston but I'm staying at (ridiculous rich community in Savannah) and I'll be here for the winter. Do you play golf, Mr. Wilson?"
Oh, a little, I do enjoy the greatest of all Scottish drinking games.
"Ha! Excellent, tell you what, have you ever been to the Oglethorpe Club?"
No, sir, I can't say that I have.
"Well, let's have lunch there. Friday. You'll need a coat and tie, of course."
Of course, sir.
"Yes, I'm a consummate story teller. I was a Captain in the Army once, I did two tours in Vietnam, with the 82nd airborne."
Oh, I see. Well, I'm a consummate listener. My good friend from college is in the 82nd right now.
"Marvelous, well, I'll be in a silver Mercedes, and I'll tell security to let you in. Don't be late. It's on Bull Street. I look forward to meeting you Mr. Wilson. You'll like law, you can see it's been very good to me. And after all, you're kin! If you claim me!"
I would say so, sir. I look forward to meeting you!

And that's how I got invited to the oldest Gentleman's Club in Georgia, the Oglethorpe Club. Here's a little context:
"Built in 1857 in the Classic Revival style, Molyneux lived in this stately home, but it also served as the British Consulate until his return to England in 1863. Union General Oliver Howard appropriated the mansion as headquarters for himself and his staff during Sherman's occupation. Much of the library and all of the expensive wine and brandy were found missing after they departed. A Union subordinate later confessed to "finding" the missing items at headquarters, much to Howard's embarrassment. Representatives of the family allegedly presented Howard with a bill for damages in the amount of $11,000.

The Molyneux home remained in the possession of the family until 1885, when it was sold to Confederate General Henry R. Jackson, who occupied the home until his death in 1898. Perhaps one of Savannah's most distinguished citizens, Jackson served as a lawyer soldier, diplomat and poet. He was Judge of the Eastern Circuit of Georgia from 1849 to 1853 and served as a special prosecutor for the U.S. in the famous case of the slave ship "Wanderer." Judge Jackson loved history and served as president of the Georgia Historical Society from 1875 until his death 1898. He was laid to rest in Savannah's Bonaventure Cemetery.

The historic mansion is now home to the Oglethorpe Club, the "oldest gentlemen's club in Georgia." Organized in 1870, the Oglethorpe Club was established by a group of Savannah's leading citizens. It still remains a fashionable private club today."


As they say, it's all about who you know these days, dear boy.

-J

mo music

Mystery Jets- A band that hopefully is not judged by their outerwear...if so they should pack up shop and leave.



Wombats- I could have posted this before...

Cough cough

So I've been out of the game for a while, I had water on my lung, also known as pneumonia! figured I'd go for a goldie but oldie and not mess around with the trendy pig influenza....

I can't even dignify Thierry Henry's actions against Ireland with a post of it's own, and now believe there IS a pseudo-conspiracy (let's just say favoring) of bigger teams in the World Cup competition...just follow the money.

oh, and my medicine must have me delusional, I think I just saw Tottenham beat Wigan NINE to one!! NINE!

Tottenham vs Wigan (9-1) All Goals And Highlights from vishnudharan on Vimeo.

-J

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Leading by Example

Who said the Scottish Premier League was crap? I didn't (but I think it).
After Motherwell scores to make it 2-1 them, their coach decides to jump up and grab an advertising board, which ends up making him look like a wanker. About 4:15 in...

classic example of a FAIL if I've ever seen one.
-J

Dirty Tackle...um Assault

Girls in America can't play soccer, ever since that National Team bird stripped to her sports bra....

-J

SCAD lacrosse girls, you know you wanna comment on this...

L&R

excellent track off of an equally good album!
-J

Dirty Tackle, Dirty Acting

Wow, so I'm a massive Manchester United fan (surprise!!) so I'm biased towards the awesome foul that Evans committed. But come on, Drogba, Jonny's feet don't have 30,000 volts running through them! What's with the bullshit leg shaking?? I, for one, would have just cried and cried- far more believable. Either way, they both got yellow cards. But the ref sucked, so
Best parts- Namanja Vidic laughing about it, and the gay music someone uploaded on the video!
-J

Drinking and Driving? Excellent!

unfair challenge. Still awesome.
-J

Best Dirty Tackles EVER

Who knew that the best most vicious dirty tackles EVER would be from a US women's college team!? Tell me I'm wrong:

-J

Who is the "White Pele", Says You

Duh, says I.






and here he is AGE 16!!


-J

Halloween

Will Ferrells character Ashley Schaeffer in Eastbound & Down on CollegeHumor

Eitha way you a winnah!
-J

Best Goalie Ever

I have figured out the solution to England's keeping dilemma. Mr. Capello, you may thank me by flying me out to World Cup 2010, and letting me hang with Beckham, Rooney and Gerrard. fair price, I'd say.
Anyway, we have all seen some pretty amazing "double-saves", where a 'keeper blocks a shot and then instantly denies the rebound shot...well, check out my boy's TRIPLE SAVE. And I've checked, he's never played for the senior team of ANY country, thus satisfying any FIFA rules that he has to abide by in order to play for England. Oh, and I have to be able to hold the winners' trophy too, Fab. Only fair.



That crossbar has RAW talent.
-Genius J

Famous Fans

Who knew? Though their support may have be indirect results of business trips...

Will Ferrel, Chelsea


Justin Timberlake, MANCHESTER UNITED!


Spike Lee, Arsenal


Samuel Jackson, Liverpool

Movin to NY

-J

Dirty, Dirty Tackles

Bloody 'ell!



Dude, he sooo got the ball. C'mon ref!

How Could I Title This?

Found @ DirtyTackle, this is probably the coolest football pic ever. For a day.

The ILL Berbatov

for those that just don't know
-J

Mah Pluuuuuums

-J

Casablancas

Thanks to a friend on Fakebook, found out that the frontman to the Strokes (Julian Casablancas) won't be outdone by his rhythm guitarist and his solo stuff.


Apparently his 8 song album comes out in the US in FOUR DAYS. Even better, $4.99 on iTunes!

-J

Baller Beard #2

Surprise, surprise- somehow, Goldenballs has made it into the esteemed group of bearded footballers! Like Michael Jordan trying baseball, it doesn't quite seem to fit. Thankfully, though, his somewhat ratty beard manages to make mine look like Paul freakin Bunyan's! Cheers, DB

Kids

In a Michael Jackson meets KISS video, MGMT (who collaborated with KiD Cudi on "Pursuit of Happiness) present "Kids".



and the Kooks' acoustic cover:


Ronny- you know Logan's obsessed with the original...
-J

Fabregas Wants to Kill James Bond

Probably the next boots I buy...
-J

Beard

from CH

-J

Fantastic

mos def
-J

The Funeral

-J

Hahaha

Pickup Lines Of 10 Historical Figures on CollegeHumor


-J

Drunken Math

-J

'Baller Beards

So I've decided to have a collection of Footballers' Beards posted. I would say Baller Beard of the Day but it'll probably be more like of the Week. Whatever.

To start off, we have the hardman Lisandro Lopez of Olympic Lyonnais (not to be confused with the egg white and oil spread), who just got back from filming his role of Jaffar in Aladdin.



LL has actually been described as "better than [Wayne] Rooney", at the height of a mushroom trip by a very biased fool.

He surprisingly didn't score against Liverpool (which is a mug's game these days) but in fact used his badguy beard to pierce a beach ball in front of their goal, which everyone knows actually stops goals being scored against Pepe Reina.

Because "Ernest Hemingway is a guy that was so manly you grow a beard just reading his name."

-J

Cos of Guns Grub and Gingers

Thanks to my old chum Ronny, over at RonnysBar, I'm re-posting an entry I made about shitty drivers. Back to the heady days of long prose and few YouTube links for my blog? Why yes, I think that's what I'll do...
Anyway, here it is, my entry in its blog-infancy:

I RUN THE GAUNTLET
every day that I drive to work. I pull out my caffeine IV, put on my helmet, goggles and gloves, check my propeller, flaps and my rudders, and then I make my way down the Red Baron- fucking- dogfight- alley that some people call Abercorn Street.

Key ominous music.

By the way, I staunchly support a neo-WWI labeling of cars: instead of confirmed kills, you put a stamp on the side for every dumbass wreck you've been in. This would mean that some....many cars would resemble a Luis Vuitton bag, but with marks of dumbassedness, instead of those apparently rare, costly LVs. As of today, it looks like they're using dents and scratches.

In about two months at my new job, I have seen five wrecks. These, of course, are only around 8am (after I sacrifice my firstborn to God in order that He may let me make it to work alive) and 5.3opm (after a day at a law firm, in which case I'm resigned to a very gory, albeit deserved MVA death).
That's not your classic Motor Vehicle Accident, it's what I refer to as a "Motherfuckin' Vehicle Attack", and they are everywhere.

Anyone who has had the unique pleasure of accompanying me on a drive knows that I reserve my purest, unadulterated hatred for my fellow motorists. While I know this will never change, I've now accrued a supplement: genuine paranoia.

Today I signed up a client. Let's call said client Mr. X.

Mr. X had a car land ON his car. ON

Where you would think it would have been a head-on collision, the high rate of acceleration, coupled with the Lord's strategically placed concrete median (cos we all need a laugh, or in His case: Laugh) ensured that the car went airborne.

Now I have a new worry. Along with the Pembroke, two-tone hair hoes putting on their makeup at 60 mph; the SCAD 18-year-olds with their '80s sunglasses falling down their noses as their neon Scion changes lanes; and (for lack of a better term) ghetto drivers who speed like they're in a high speed chase out of habit, I now have to worry about the dreaded combo of cars and gravity.

Newton had no fucking idea.

to quote an attorney, "WATCH OUT FOR FLYING CARS!"

-J

Really!?

How can DOORS be more plentiful than stretchers at a Spanish division 3 stadium? Anyone?



-J

Dirty TacPUNCHINTHEFACE!

If you squint your eyes and turn...no, you can just watch normally and see this guy get punched in the face. Takes it like a man though. I woulda teared up. Of course, I'd cry blood...

-J

The Brilliance of Editing

Nice one! From talkSport

-J

big mac. cheeseburger.

-J

Wilson

hahaha Chris Toy @ Studs Up puts it perfectly, as usual, with his new comic.

-J

Stanky goal, Dirty Harry, Out of Bounds and a Beachball

After a weekend of notable footballing events, and me being bitter about not buying beer/wine before the Bible Belt onset of Sunday, I'll just outsource all of today's update to YouTube.

Stankovic's disgusting volley from HALF FIELD, after a clanger from the 'keeper...still, couldn't expect a goal like that! Best part? Celebrating with the glassed-in fans.



And the most gangster geriatric there is did the ceremonial kickoff for OL. See the terrified ball try to get out of the way as he kicks it- high into the air, not your average along the ground kick...


And here's Anelka spectacularly taking out Villa boss Martin O'Neill, to which he replied "Ow! Bastard! For dat, moy team will beet ya!" And they did, 2-1.


And of course, the Scousers were undone for the FOURTH time this season...by a beachball. Thrown by the own fan. And shite defending. Thrown by their own manager.
watch it @http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/2688593/Spot-the-beachball.html?OTC-RSS&ATTR=Football

-J

Pitch Invader FAIL, Plus Henry is Amused

-J

Awwwkward...

Reggie Bush, clearly the smartest American footballer ever, states that calling it "soccer" doesn't make much sense. He has this revelation in an awkward meeting with famous "Goldenballs"....


-J

Scotch Mist

Posted "Reckoner" and "Weird Fish/Arpeggi" before...
here's the WHOLE thing:



-J

Hot Coffee

http://hotcoffeethemovie.com/trailer/

The most talked about lawsuit in the US, yet it's over a decade old. And most people have the facts wrong. And have a twisted view of it. Good job, GOP, good job.

If you don't know about it, you should.
If you don't care about it, then I can't do anything there. But it will affect everyone- tort reform. Don't get me started about the GOP.

"I don't know if we're gonna have enough tiiiime"

I grew up with Thomas the Tank Engine (before the US adaptation) and I was convinced Old School premiered my freshman year because I needed inspiration. Therefore, I love this picture.


Context.

Bees!?

While England's doomed match was halted as Ukraine hooligans constantly threw flares onto the pitch, Mexico's match was interrupted by something altogether more bizarre.

Bees.

ISYN, actual "where's a flower" bees were swarming around the very unflower-like goalposts at the Azteca stadium, to the point where fire extinguishers had to be used to scare the buggers off. But the picture begs the question, Overreaction?



-J

DB Joke

I made a post about Glenn Bloody Beck and Muse earlier, more unfolding at the New Musical Express, one of the best music publications around.

Glenn Beck admits lying over Muse retraction plea
Fox News presenter says the band didn't contact him asking to stop praising them
October 6, 2009
"Fox News presenter Glenn Beck's declaration that Muse had asked him to stop praising the band was entirely false, it has been revealed.

As previously reported, Beck had praised the band on Twitter and during his radio programme in September, before telling listeners that the band's representatives had been in touch with him asking if he would "retract my endorsement".

Beck, who is known for his strong conservative views, is still under fire after he called President Obama "a racist" in July.

Speaking about the presenter's comments about Muse, Christopher Balfe, the president and COO of Beck's company Mercury Radio Arts, admitted that the whole thing had been a ruse, reports MTV.

"After raving about Muse for four minutes, Glenn made a joke about their representatives emailing him to stop," Balfe said. "While it is entirely possible that Muse does not like having Glenn as a fan, he was making a joke and their representatives never reached out to him."

Despite Beck suggesting on several occasions that he believes Muse share his strong libertarian views on western power, the band's spokesperson said they would be making no comment about the issue."

Hilarious joke, douchebag. Making a good effort at usurping Bill "Pinhead" O'Reilly as biggest media DB.

-J

The Beautiful Game

As played by Catholic heritage and Protestant heritage teams in Scotland.


Best part- Lafferty smacking the foulee after ripping his nuts off. It's not a mean smack, just a "YOU'RE FIIINE" smack. "GETTT UP!"
-J

Muse Hates Glenn Beck. Me Too.

From NME.com

Muse ask Fox News presenter Glenn Beck to retract his support for the band

Beck called President Obama 'racist' in July

Muse have reportedly asked under-fire Fox TV presenter Glenn Beck to retract his public endorsement of the band after he praised them on his radio show.



Beck, who is known for his conservative stance on politics, is currently embroiled in a scandal over remarks he made in July when he called President Obama "a racist". The Press Association today (October 5) reports that Waitrose has pulled its advertisements on Fox News over the incident.

Speaking on 'The Glenn Beck Program' on September 16, the presenter hailed Muse's latest album 'The Resistance' as "fantastic", before stating that the band themselves are known to share his libertarian views concerning how the western world is governed.

"These guys are brilliant, they know the time that we live in. They are libertarians from England," he said. "All of the lyrics are just dead on, on what's coming our way."

Beck also endorsed the band on his Twitter page the same day, again alluding that they are libertarians.

"New Muse CD. Amazing. These guys are right on the money. Lyrics on target, talent off the charts. They 'get it'. Libertarian!" he Tweeted.

However, speaking later on his radio show, Beck revealed he had been asked to retract his praise for the band after being emailed by a Muse representative while on air.

"I just got an email from representation of Muse," he said. "They would like me to retract my endorsement. My apologies to Muse for saying that I like them. I didn't mean to destroy all their credibility and all their coolness.

"Let me just set the record straight. Muse – I hate them. It's an awful album and you should never go out and buy it."

-J

Most Outrageous Football Injury

No, it's not the exploding boiled egg incident, where Kirk Broadfoot got egg on his face (couldn't resist). This, of course is another Scottish baller struck down by the hilarious hand of God. I bet someone say "Bless you" to which he replied "AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHuuuuuuuhhhhh" and so on and so on...

Muti>Ronaldo

So, apparently some bad juju, sorcery, witchcraft, muti, JK Rowling devil-fornication has struck down arguably the greatest footballer there is.

The perma-tanned Portugese, Cristiano Ronaldo, was apparently "cursed" by a witch doctor (who probably got his Doctorate online, like Dr. Phil) and all the signs point to Paris Hilton being the commisioner.

Written better (and with effort I can't conjure up past Wednesday) the update is at the Spoiler.

-J

Halloween

So I've decided. Fo sho. I will be the renowned Ashley Schaeffer of Ashley Schaeffer BMW in Shelby, NC. Who is that, you ask? First of all, you must be borderline retarded if you shop anywhere else, and that's straight from the hoss's mouth. Secondly, how have you not seen HBO's greatest comedy, Eastbound & Down?



"I'll take that as a compliment. Woop!"
"That's what we do heeere."
-J

Spoil

Best line I've read all week, seen over at the Spoiler.

"If there’s one thing the Spanish football press love more than those crazy upside down question marks, then it’s pouncing on an opportunity to shed doubt over the internal goings on Real Madrid. "

-J

Headache

And he got up! Amazing!

-J

EITHA WAY YO A WINNAH!

so unless someone hits me with a better idea, I'll be Ashley Schaeffer (of Ashley Schaeffer BMW, with everyday, Ashley Schaeffer low prices).....

-J

Berbatov

It looks like Berbatov is silencing some of his critics this season....and this goal (best I've seen so far this season) can go some way to justifying his 30 million pound price tag! Thankfully we drew this game; Sunderland were reakky up for it, and it was the worst passing display I've seen from United for quite some time. Good sign of a team when they can play like crap and grind out a draw...



-J

Bend It

Only ever seen this once firsthand...in a "classic league" game I played in when I was 18. Our guy hit it o me back post and thankfully I couldn't jump high enough; his left footed kick went right in, much to the keeper's amazement.



-J

Twit

Follow me on Twitter....though if you're reading this it's a bit beside the point, the twittering leading to visiting this site and all.....

@_WhoAreYa

-J

"Who Ate All the Pies?"

moar funny pictures

-J

Craziness

So, apparently I missed my chance to play in the EPL. All I should've done is take the video of me schooling defenders in highschool and put them on YouTube...then I could play for Newcastle!!! Can't believe that.

The only thing crazier in today's news is the "exorcism" at my alma mater, Berry College. I mean, I can believe it- not the Dark Ages hoodoo part, but the fact that people at BC were involved.

And to think, I got out just in time.

That being said, it's great to see the chaps (and chicks) in the Communications department have a really good multimedia site, Viking Fusion! Awesome stuff. I was taking TV Studio production at the end of my college days, and I could tell that I wish I had gotten in with them way sooner. What coulda been, eh? Keep up the good work, ya'll.

-J

EDIT

Making a few changes now, dubbed "Who are ya!?", for the famous English football chant...basically in the vein of "We're kicking your ass, are you supposed to be know/good/famous or something? Who are ya?"


Also, it seems like someone's lit a fire under my friend KJ, she's had a few blog posts back to back @ And What?

My good friend from college, "the Rrrronsta!" is up and running @ Guns, Grub and Gingers

Per'aps F*ck Off Might Be Too Kind

Perfect for driving to work on Abercorn/Gauntlet from Hell-Full of Idiots Road
-J

POOP

I know these guys (well, two of them).


No, no...they're my FRIENDS.

-J

Dirty "Tackle"

A true QUALITY dirty tackle, though tackle is used in the loosest sense of the word. More like "assault". Semantics.


(as seen on The Guardian's Sport Blog)
-J

2-1 to UNITED!!!

The one time I don't write a prediction, turns out is IS 2-1 us.


-J

Not Like That

I was talking to "Rambo" today, he's stationed in NC with a huge paratrooper unit, brigade or whatever. Talking about Burn After Reading, the movie where Brad Pitt botches a blackmail attempt...



JG- "Shit, if Brad Pitt was in my house I'd shoot him in the head, too."
Rambo- "Hell yeah."
JG- "Granted, I'd probably recognize him once he's dead and I got over the initial shock....but whatever, he's in my damn house."
R- "I'd be proud. I'd mount him. And be like, That's Brad Pitt. I killed Achilles."

-J

More London Rock

More Rifles



-J

'Nother Dirty Tackle

Probably the best flattening I've seen, aside from Rooney's World Cup nutcrushing, of course...

From DirtyTackle...

-J

Land of Contradiction

You've got to love America, especially if you live here. I mean, it's simply brilliant! But, if you don't see that it's a land of contradiction, then you, my friends [in McCain accent], are fools.

JK Rowling denied top US honour

JK Rowling's Harry Potter's books have sold more than 400 million copies

Harry Potter author JK Rowling missed out on a top honour because some US politicians believed she "encouraged witchcraft", it has been claimed.

Matt Latimer, former speech writer for President George W Bush, said that some members of his administration believed her books promoted sorcery.

As a result, she was never presented with the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

The claims appear in Latimer's new book called Speechless: Tales of a White House Survivor.

He wrote that "narrow thinking" led White House officials to object to giving Rowling the civilian honour.

The award acknowledges contributions to US national interest, world peace or cultural endeavours.

Past literary recipients of the award include John Steinbeck and Harper Lee.

Others denied the privilege under the Bush administration included Senator Edward Kennedy, who died in August this year.

Latimer claimed, in his book, that the veteran politician and health care activist was excluded because he was deemed to be too liberal.

-J

-posted by the BBC (best news source in the world) link

Chelsea v Liverpool...

...with and African/AK47 twist!? I saw this on Chris Toy's blog (the guy who does the hilarious Studs Up comics) and I'm with him, I have no clue what the hell to make of this. It's like a bunch of African (continent, not black Americans) Liverpool and Chelsea fans just saw Scarface...or Three 6 Mafia's straight-to-DVD "Choices" gangster flick....and then made their own. Of course, with 'Pool and Chelski themes....? Yeahhh....check it out for yourself.



I'd say it's pretty funny, except for the fact that it took them no time at all to get the guns used in the clip, seeing as how they already owned them...

-J

Another Dirty Tackle

Here's a nice "This is what NOT to do in football" video for the kids....



From my favorite football blog, Dirty Tackle.

(Apparently #28 gets a red card for "Most retarded haircut in the game". Who knew?

-J

Scotch Mist

I remember "buying" this album when I was studying in London....it was a pay-what-you-want download....and this, "Weird Fishes/Arpeggi", along with "Reckoner", are the standout tracks on In Rainbows.



Excellent live version. And this is the winner for the RH music video contest...for the song "Reckoner"...

-J

Win.

Win.

-J

10 of the Best

What I'm Listening to These Days:

KiD CuDi- Dat New New

Kings of Leon- Use Somebody

The Weeks- Buttons

Asher Roth- Lark on My Go Kart

Arctic Monkeys- Old Yellow Bricks

David Sides- Crazy (Gnarls Barkley Cover)

KiD CuDi- T.G.I.F. ft. Chip the Ripper

Gnarls Barkley- Reckoner (Radiohead Cover)

Arctic Monkeys- Crying Lightning

David Sides- Dead and Gone (T.I./Justin Timberlake Cover)

-J

Shot

On Wednesday, just THREE block down from my house, a man was shot and killed. Around 1pm, in broad daylight. This is the 22nd person to be killed by gunfire in Savannah this year. You have to understand, this happened in one of the best neighborhoods in town, house prices average around $750,000.00. The news article describes the location as a "stately home". Anyone who is "against" guns should really think again. I know it's a personal choice, but what would you do if someone had you targeted? You'd be at their mercy, and it seems there are a good amount of people out there who have none.

This despicable person is still on the loose, as well. Who's ready?

-J

Another Good* One

*bad

from DirtyTackle, apparently the striker's tooth went through his lip, and his nose was broken. And it looks like it kinda hurt the 'keeper's hip/ass. Either way, it's good to see some fellow Americans getting stuck in (read: playing hard as hell).



-J

Opens Tomorrow

-J

EA

I WANT IT! (Cos when you have a broken ankle, this is as close to playing football as you can get.)

My return to sport is slated for any time in November-December. Hopefully.

-J

PPK

Who hasn't wanted to do this!?

Cheers to Jon over at SaveUsLebron who posted this.

-J

Cop

From AmazingSuperPowers.com, they have some real gems (esp if you have a desk job...)
-J

Fact

-J

From Jon

Saw a post from this website over at Jon's blog, SaveUsLebron, and thought it was hilarious!
Here's one example of Rap illustrated mathematically (a logical connection, I know.)

See them all (along with YouTube links to the songs in question) at JamPhat.

Also, only 3 days until the public premier of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell! Can't wait for the self-righteous protesters to tear their hair out. And then look like girls who like girls. In the non-hot way. "Ew, gross!"

-J

Worth 1,000 Words...

Oh my God, I don't even know what to think of the second one....."You're weeth City now!? SKEET SKEET! Take zat, you traitair! Hawheehaw!" (in Evra's French accent, of course)


In Victory,
-J

Derby

 

Best derby game ever.

-J

PS- suck it, City

fact

-J