EA

I WANT IT! (Cos when you have a broken ankle, this is as close to playing football as you can get.)

My return to sport is slated for any time in November-December. Hopefully.

-J

Analyze

So my father got me into Google Analytics, which tracks visits to your website and tells you an almost endless amount of info about your fan base, for lack of a better term. Audience, if you will.

Much to my surprise, yesterday 12 people from some obscure town in Brazil viewed this blog.

Well, right before I wrote that last sentence, I did a search on the referral and found out that it's a bunch of spam. Awesome. I was gonna give the backwater town of Breauri or wherever a shoutout, but instead I've reported your citizens to the Google spam dept. Bastardos.

-J

Flippin Mad

From the BBC, what I consider to be the new source in the world. (The BBC is to an Italian leather driving shoe as Fox is to a steaming pile of dog shit.)

Military robot 'hops' over walls

By Paul Rincon Science and environment reporter, BBC News

The robot is able to leap over fences and walls

Video footage has been released of a robot that can leap over obstacles more than 7.5m (25ft) high.

Most of the time, the shoebox-sized robot - which is being developed for the US military - uses its four wheels to get around.

But the Precision Urban Hopper can use a piston-actuated "leg" to launch it over obstacles such as walls or fences.

The robot could boost the capabilities of troops and special forces engaged in urban warfare, say researchers.

The robot is shoebox sized and guided by GPS

The programme is being funded by Darpa, the US military's research arm.

Earlier this year, Sandia National Laboratories awarded the contract to build the next generation of the hopper to Massachusetts-based robotics firm Boston Dynamics.

Researchers at Sandia have tried out the robot on a variety of different surfaces.

The semi-autonomous, GPS-guided gadget could be used for surveillance in urban environments.

Its developers say this could potentially reduce troop casualties.

Testing and delivery of the Precision Urban Hopper is planned for late 2010.

I hope they put some guns on it or something!

-J

How to "Motor" in a Mini

Now, to find my nearest Mini-driving girlfriend...

-J

twatter

Almost Half Bullshit!

Tells you everything you need to know about Twitter.

And why I pass on it.

-J

Duude, I can't find the button, man

Find your nearest dealer? Yeah, there's an app for that!

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/view/90215/It-s-dial-a-dealer/

What will they think of next?

-J

The Only Argument FOR Smoking

Works with other guns, too, I'm sure...
-J

AXE

While I think Axe deodorant is probably the worst product in the WORLD (unless, of course, you're from "frikkin AWEsome" Long Island), I do like their Dark Chocolate body wash.
My girlfriend says it's in no way an exaggeration, it does smell irresistible. In that case, she's never sitting by me on a bus. (See 37 seconds into the video)

Excellent marketing; quality commercials are like verified news stories on CNN- rare.

-J

Ridin' on......

tweels!? I don't know if you've seen them yet, but I think these are probably the coolest recent development for the auto industry, apart from when Obama made that dumbass Rick Wagoner resign.

Tweels. Ballin.


No more flats, no more tire guages, no more of that bullshit tire shine (it's like shoeshine, but if you walked through cow shit in those shoes all the time...) and, my favorite part, triumphant over police spike strips!!!

Car chases just got that much more interesting.

And they look ballin in motion:

Made in everyone's favorite succession state, South Carolina, they are due to drop "soon"; no guesses on the price, yet. Along with Charleston women and a football team idolizing fighting cocks, these "tars" are at the top of the State's contributions to our wonderful nation.

Coming soon (my audience of three must be gripping their monitors white-nuckled right now):
a tribute to who I'll name as Rambo, a brave badass who just signed up to fight in Obama's Army.
Get some!

-J