Letters from the Back of the Line Part 1

(Hell yes, I'm listening to Fortunate Son by CCR)

So Rambo, as I've mentioned before, has finally got in touch with us. He shipped off to join the Army the last week of April. Cos his first letter is so damn good, I'll just throw it up here unadulterated.

For the sake of nunyafuckinbiznass, of course I'm "JG" and Rambo's other best mate is "Porn" (the reason why, that's a whole nutha story)

"Dear JG and Porn:
Let me start off by telling you how much my ass hurts. My left cheek is as red as the devil's dick and swollen as a fat girl's stomach at the Golden Corral. They gave us penicillin shots in the ass, basically. I'm still here at Reception Battalion and waiting to ship downrange to basic training. All we do now is stand around in formation, get shots, and eat like pigs. Believe it or not the food is really good. For the most part all the other recruits are pretty cool and the officers and drill sergeants are very professional.

(At this point I laughed my head off, envisioning new and wonderful asswhoopings Rambo is being subjected to, then the hardass who dished em out watching over Rambo's shoulder as he writes this!)

As soon as I get downrange I will send you my mailing address. I also may have you mail me my cell phone. Please don't wreck my car and don't fuck on my bed.
Love you guys,
Best regards,

SPC Rambo
--- -- --
US Army

Hooah!"